maluu~

hahaha..ok takde la malu sangat, tapi malu jugak la sebab kononnye blogger tapi update setengah tahun sekali haha. memang blogger tak guna.

so i will update on my life.erk. u should probably know by now that i dont have a life that's why i have not been updating. hoho..so today baru habis exam, last paper for the semester. fuh. tapi sangat banyak assignment dan dan dan malas nak buat tapi terpaksa buat jugak jadi maka buat jugalah dengan kadar yang sangat lambat sambil memblog. heheh

first nak tau pasal love life? saya dah dumb dany utk lelaki yang lebih disukai, zaf.hahaha.bunyinya sungguh kejam padahal saya yang meranaaa....ngaaa...tapi sekarang dany dan zaf dua2 dah tau kedudukan masing2.hehe..nanti kalau kitorang bertiga kena explain kat mak bapak saya yang tercinta, dany da janji nak help out.harap2 things will go smoothly, tak sanggup banyak sangat drama, saya suka life yang memang simple mimple pimple.eh pimple tanak.shuh.

omg i sound mcm perempuan yang sangat jahat and tak tau dek untung mcm cerita adamaya tapi bukan bukan, saya takde anak prempuan lagi heh. n tak pernah kena tangkap basah segala omg dijauhkan Allah.

so second nak cerita apelagi?? study ok..kot.mungkin perasaan ni berubah selepas tgk result exam, tapi lets enjoy life for the moment. speaking of life. erm. i have this perangai, of which my friends know kot.heheh. when sth happens in my life, i tend to react like the newton's third law of motion.heh mcm betol je haku nih. yekot. ala yang kalau ada satu daya yang bergerak, ada lg satu daya bertentangan tu..form 4 kot..ingat x, ingat x?? haa..i am like that in most situations. which sometimes or probably most of the time tak elok, sebab bila org hentam i i hentam balik, then the rudeness will never end kan? i mcm fikir i patut change my perangai, mcm bila org marah senyum je..boleh? boleh ke? entahla.mesti easier said than done kan. but maybe i should try, maybe it will help me ward off some negativeness in my life, tak gituh?

afterall, nobody gets out of this life alive pon kan? so all these violence in our hearts (ecewah ayat tak boleh blah) mcm tak munasabah and membazir masa je kan?

ok tu je da ngantok, kerja tak siap lagi. esok la sambung nampaknye....nyte!

4.39am

6/5/2010

out of this world?

haha. npe tajuk ni ea? there are so many things in my mind right now. i think my mind may be out of my head,out of my body. merepeks dah.

it has been a very busy week..tormenting. proposal for thesis, tests, assignments and presentations. ugh. there were so many things to cope with, my life has suddenly accelerated in speeds and directions too difficult for me to focus on.

we managed to celebrate my birthday anyways, everything being last minute. it was simple, and we didn't really have a plan, so we kind of merayau je pergi mines after the dinner for a karok session, but then it was already closed.hahah! so we just sat around, borak2. i know it sounds like wasting time, and very apakah-yang-berlaku kind of celebration, but it was all that i could hope for. i enjoy just spending time borak2 with people dear to me. hehe..

the next day i spent with someone, well..i dont know how to describe him in words. im still confused of what i feel for him. i just know that there is something strong, and yet it makes me feel peaceful. he wanted to buy me a present (he apologized that he didn't get my present yet and asked if could 'pilih apa yang u nak, nanti i belikan ok'). the thing was, i could not decide on what i wanted!!

how could i decide on mere material stuffs when all i wanted was for him to come and see me here. we went around looking for sth i might want, and AKU BUNTU OKAY!

at last i settled for a book - eclipse.hahah.

but before that...jeng3..i did sth reaaaaaalllllyyyy stupid i could've buried my face in the putrajaya lake.nope. that would still get me attention.argh!

i wanted to send a text to efie, it said this 'efie, ap nk mintak kt **** as birthday present ea, ak buntu ar. ak nk die je sbenanye.haha'. and so i hit the send button without realising that the 'to' column was filled with his number!! how daft can i get????!!!!

haihh..da lama tak memalukan diri sendiri mcm ni. what was i thinking??..

owh i was thinking of him. like all the time. dush.

the next big thing was that i actually told him that i sent him a wrong msg, that could he please let me delete it, but he berlengah-lengah until he sent me back. sah-sah he wanted to read kan? at first i was so menggelabah thinking of the consequences that might happen if he read it, then by the time we lepak-ed at the lake, i thought that i have nothing to lose (only my face) and that whatever happens, in the end it could only be yes or no, everything or nothing, i'll be with him or i won't. so i pasrah je lah..but i do feel like i could shoot myself, even now.heheh

btw, he said that we would find my birthday present later, and i held out the book and he said 'tu bukan present la'.hehe..he likes to keep me hoping kan..

if i could only just say to him 'u coming here was the nicest birthday present ever'...

but i couldn't.

then.

i read this at his page.

1. his status said 'don't know what i want!!!'

- he seldomly uses a ! apetah lagi 3 !

- he seldomly shows that he is 'unstable'. he status usually says things that are forward-looking, or goal-oriented.

- he sounds like me.hahah

2. there was a link to a song. 'ku bukan aku' by a band called tilu.

Lama sungguh hari berlalu,
Hening malam menyiksaku,
Bila bersendirian sepi jadi pilu,

Kau pergi aku yang hilang,
Sedikitpun hidup tak senang,
Langit cerah ku renung mendung kelabu,

KERANA DIRIKU BUKAN AKU,
TIAP KALI KAU MENJAUH,
FIKIRAN TAK KERUAN,
JIWA RASA KEKOSONGAN,
DIRIKU BUKAN AKU TIAP KALI KAU MENJAUH,
PULANGKAN DIA KEPANGKUANKU...

Yang digemar menjadi bosan,
sukarnya cari ketenteraman,
Bila hati bersedih semuanya tak betul,

Ku cuba setabah hati melupakan,
Dirimu dari ingatan,
Tapi semakin di cuba semakin rindu

the words made me..have butterflies in my stomach. did he refer to me? did he met someone and this referred to that person? or maybe he just like the song? was the gesture of coming to celebrate my birthday was sth he would do for anybody? maybe he IS charming to every girl he knows? who knows

i envy bella for having edward and jacob at the same time. but then again, they are not real.

tadaaa!! huda's here!

erm...my first post. so why symplesiomorphy?

its actually a bio condition, where a trait is common between taxa, but the taxa is not closely related. tak paham takpe.heheh

pahamkan yang ni. it sounds like it is indicating something is simple, but the word itself is complicated, and takes an effort to understand. kinda like ME.

so, my so called makcik efie, we're genuinely related as makcik and anak buah okay, but she's about my age. ni kalau masuk cerita susur galur famili kitorang lagi pening, so we'll skip that. She convinced me untuk create blog ni..and i did wonder something about myself; always showing the exact opposite of what i feel to people. maybe i wouldn't be such an actress on stage if i were to spill my thoughts and feelings to a screen. :) maybe

posted at 19:56 timing blog mengong. btw aku belum solat ag.waaa!